10 rules for friendship.
What friendship really means?
friendship, a state of enduring affection, esteem, intimacy, and trust between two people. In all cultures, friendships are important relationships throughout a person's life span.
Friendship is the foundation of all relationships, so understanding how to be a good friend and what to look for in one is priceless.
I'd like to stress that no one is perfect. Some of the advice I'm giving is based on what I've learned through trial and error. Use this list as a guideline to see where you can improve or if your current friends are doing their part.
If you have a truly toxic friend, it is up to you whether you want to continue the relationship knowing they may not change, though you may want to consider why you want to spend time with someone who drains you.
On the other hand, you probably know what qualities a good friend possesses: someone who is honest, trustworthy, easy to talk to, funny, and supportive. Even so, every relationship necessitates time and effort, so here are 10 guidelines to follow in order to maintain healthy long-term friendships.
1. The give and take is balanced.
Yes, opposites can attract, but this is not always beneficial. If one person is always giving and the other is always taking, the friendship is unbalanced, eventually leading to resentment.
2. Good friends spend time together.
Sure, life can get in the way, and making plans can be difficult at times. But if you go six months without meeting or communicating meaningfully, don't be surprised if the person you consider your best friend no longer prioritizes you.
3. Be dependable and keep your promises.
Don't be the person who is always an hour late, cancels plans at the last minute, or abandons others. It is selfish to regard your time as more valuable than anyone else's. People will tolerate it at best but will regard you as flaky and inconsiderate. If you have a valid reason for canceling, make sure you are the one who organizes the next meetup.
4. Communicate effectively.
Don't expect others to be able to read your mind. Don't bury your feelings if you're upset about something. If you don't want to do something, don't make bogus excuses and avoid your friends. It's also a good idea to tell your friends how much you appreciate them.
5. Quality trumps quantity.
This year, I decided that I'd rather have a few close friends than spread my energy around and try to catch up with everyone. Even one true friend is more valuable than 500 social media friends you rarely see in real life. Consider how many close friends you have time for and make an effort to strengthen those bonds.
6. Don't be a litterbug.
If you constantly complain, you're treating your friend like a garbage can. While it is natural to confide in a close friend, no one should have to listen to someone's whining all the time. If you're feeling like a garbage can, set boundaries and reconsider the relationship if your friend refuses to adapt. I keep an eye out for people with unresolved childhood issues. Hurt people harm others. If they do not address their trauma or abuse, they may take their rage out on you sooner or later. Consider whether you can put up with this.
7. Don't pass judgment or exert control over others.
It's judgment if you think you're helping others by giving them advice when they haven't asked for it. Your friends will not confide in you if you are criticizing instead of inspiring, controlling instead of supportive. They'll simply want to avoid being judged.
8. Good friends help each other grow.
This does not imply that you must participate in every hobby that your BFF enjoys. Growing together can simply imply being helpful to one another. If you choose to grow in a positive direction, such as refraining from gossiping, your friend will either have to grow alongside you or try to drag you down. Good friends must be on the same wavelength as you, so you must decide what type of energy you want in your life.
9. I genuinely like the individual.
This should go without saying, but I've found that many people keep friends long after they've outgrown them out of habit. Do you really want to be someone's friend just because they want to be yours? Consider whether you genuinely enjoy spending time with this person. Do you miss them when you are separated from them for an extended period of time? Do you have a good time with them? The ultimate litmus test for great friendship chemistry is being able to sit with them in silence and feel completely at ease.
10. Emotional trust.
I'm not just talking about believing someone will be on time or do what they say they will. Can you confide in a friend about your secrets, personal problems, or even happy experiences, knowing they will be happy for you? If not, the friendship cannot progress any further. If the other rules on this list are followed, a person has a better chance of earning emotional trust.
Do you have any other ideas for how to be a good friend? Please let us know in the comments section below.